Are we trapped?

Are we trapped?

I often imagine living in different venues. Sometimes I think back at my grandma’s place, where I grow up. There everyone live in small condos, between buildings space were narrow and small. I remember my grandparents would often sit outside of their condo, and chat with various neighbors. They live that type of lifestyle for uncountable many years… they are so used to it that even if they had been given a ranch and 20 acres of land for free, they wouldn’t take it.

I used to think, that my dream place to live would be a ranch with 20+ acres of land, and no one can bother me. I don’t ever have to worry about if my blinds were closed, can anyone see me? Am I being too loud, or avoid talking to my neighbors. Since my dream place would cost an unbearable amount of money in the Bay Area, of course it will not become a reality for many many years (or never). Therefore, now I live in a small house with a small yard, and I often have to worry if my blinds were closed all the way so I can enjoy personal space. I wonder how many years will it take for me to be mode into my current living venue? By when, will I become similar to my grandparents, willing to live in small restricted (by HOA) areas until it becomes the new norm.

Some of my friends were lucky enough to do backpacking around the world, or simply move to another country to work for however many years. I always wanted those kind of life. Although reality will not let that happen, since I have the responsibilities to take care of my none working mother and many dogs. I’m forced to live in the life I have now. Until I’m so used to it that even one day, the cage opened, I don’t even want to live. Is this sad? Am I trapped?